Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
