How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
