This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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