Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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