why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
