dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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