U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
