Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
