wakey wakey hands off snakey
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
