I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
