Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
