Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
