whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
