I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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