I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
