naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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