but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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