I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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