You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
