he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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