I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
