So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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