You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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