we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
