Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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