You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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