Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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