so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She even gives head with a lisp.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
