i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I want to make a zoo with you.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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