I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
