It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
