My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
