I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
