His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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