don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't want my vagina anymore.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
