Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
