That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
