i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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