I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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