That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
