Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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