i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
