69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
