Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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