Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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