My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I love having hate sex.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
