So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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