I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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