No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
