As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
