dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
